The first week

After the initial discovery, I pretty much tried to block all knowledge of the lump, I had a friends birthday to go to and I was really looking forward to that, I wanted to get drunk and blot the whole thing from my mind, I decided I would forget about it for the weekend then deal with it at the start of the week.

The night out didn’t really go to plan and other events over the weekend meant that I ended up totally blocking the whole thing for more than the weekend and pretty much the whole of the first week. I was on a training course that week and apart from having a migraine on the Monday I was more worried about a personal situation that was going on than the lump, but by Thursday I had to face up to the fact it was there, it didn’t feel like it would go away on its own and that I needed to get it checked out.

I rang the doctor on the Thursday during my lunch hour, fully expecting to be told I’d have to wait a week to be seen. But as soon as I said I had found a lump in my breast I was told I could see the Dr on the following Tuesday.

As soon as that appointment was made, it felt real, it was really happening, ok at that point I didn’t know what it was but my mind was whisking away with all sorts of thoughts. (Pretty negative ones I must admit)

That evening I went to see a friend and whilst talking about something else, I broke down and cried and ended up telling her about the lump. She was lovely and tried cheering me up telling me it was more than likely a cyst or fatty lump (I’ve been called worse before lol) and I did feel a great weight had been lifted after telling someone, but I had decided I wouldn’t tell anyone else until after seeing the Dr just in case it was nothing and I was being silly. Anyone who knows me would know that it is very unlike me to keep things quiet, I did struggle not telling my family why I wasn’t very cheerful that following weekend but I wasn’t ready.

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