Since the whole start of this pesky lump thing, I have learnt so much about what is really important in life and in some ways its a shame that it takes something like this for me to realise it and in some ways I guess for others to see it to.
On the day I found the lump I had a subsequent falling out with my closest friends in the world, without going into details, things went horribly wrong and there were misunderstandings and somehow it all went totally tits up. (Sorry no pun intended!) Because of finding the lump, I closed everything off and didnt tell anyone what was going on, I stewed for about a week and let my emotions run away with me, I signed up for a will online, as I didnt have one, I thought that I had better get my things in order just in case it got bad. Things basically just got worse until there was pretty much no contact from that point on. I couldnt cope with it, my head was all over the place and trying to sort things out just felt too much. I had to close myself down at that moment in time.
At this time, I was talking online to Di and at the time that I told one of my mates what was going on, I told Di as well, we hadnt met then, but already there was a good bond there and I felt safe talking to her and with her not knowing me, or my friends and family she was a great listener. She was incredibly supportive during those first few weeks and as I went through the process I told my family and closest friends and when I got the actual results back saying it was cancer, my friends that I had fallen out with got in touch and we basically decided that no matter what had or hadnt happened, life was too short, we all cared about eachother and loved eachother that we wanted to get the friendships back on track. I felt so happy, I had met a wonderful woman who made me very happy, my friendships were getting back on track and I felt seriously lifted from everything.
At the end of the day, I have learnt how important, friends, family and loved ones are in a massive way, I have always felt very strongly about friends and family, but a new love element was showing me how good things could be. 🙂 I treasure those closest to me, they mean the world to me and I never want to endanger that again. Life is too short, you never know whats around the corner and what is going to bite you on the bum, or in my case the boob 🙂
So to my family, thank you sooooo much for your love and support so far, you’ve been there for me all of my life and I love you all dearly. My little neice is the sun, moon and stars in my life, I love her so much! 🙂
To my closest friends, thank you so much for being there, thank you for letting go of the things that are not important, our friendships are important and I dont want to lose them.
To my other friends, thank you for being there, knowing I have a great group of friends means such a lot to me as at one point I was almost a hermit with no friends and no life, now I have all of you and its fantastic!
To my lovely Lily Pops, the dog and best friend any human could ever ask for! You are my rock and I love you to bits!!!
Last but not least…. DiDi…. thank you so much for opening my heart, soul and eyes to knowing what it really feels like to love and be loved. I know its very early days but you mean the absolute world to me and I cant get over how right this feels. You are the true sunshine that has shone in my time of darkness, the darkness is going and beautiful days are ahead of us!
Ok I know this is really really soppy and I’m sorry for that, I need to get this out of my system, this is what the blog is about for me, its an offloading of information, feelings, processes and much much more.
Love, Light & Happiness everyone! xxx