Well the three weeks of waiting are over, I had my appointment to get my results today and despite the hour wait I couldn’t wait to hear the outcome and find out what the next steps were.
The consultant informed me that the results on the lymph nodes was all clear which was good news. They had removed six nodes.
The lump they removed was in total about 5cm including the margin breast tissue around the lump. But in some of the surrounding tissue they had found cancerous cells so I would need a further operation to take more breast tissue to ensure that all the cancerous cells were removed.
She also told me that I had not tested positive for the heceptin or the oestrogen reactor. I don’t know exactly what that means but I’m sure it’s a good thing as I know you can have additional treatments with heceptin etc so if I don’t need that I see it as a good sign 🙂
She said I would need chemo and radiotherapy. I would need about 6 chemo sessions every 3 weeks. Then I would need radiotherapy. I can’t remember how many sessions if she did say.
I have to admit I didn’t feel scared at all hearing any of this, I surprised myself at how calm I was. I didn’t feel a rush of emotion like I did last time I got my results but I guess it’s different knowing you have cancer this time and they are doing something about it. Your on the conveyor belt to get yourself fixed and healed rather than standing on the edge not knowing which way to go.
So my next surgery is booked for this coming Thursday. I think it will be morning surgery this time (here’s hoping) and I won’t need to have the blue dye again so no allergic reactions or spotty dotty bodies 🙂
They will go in from the same point as last time, so reopen the scar. That creeps me out a bit as its only just healed and now will get cut open again… Poor boob 😉
They will take away more tissue from the left hand side and hope that by doing this all of the cancer will be removed. (Fingers crossed folks!)
So that’s it basically from the results point of view.
I think the hardest thing I’ve noticed is how much harder it is for my loved ones to deal with what’s going on. When I rang my dad yesterday to tell how I had got on, he cried. I haven’t seen or heard my Dad cry in twenty years, it shook me to the core and I cried more so that he was upset than what was going on to me.
I told Di too and I could tell she was upset but she wouldn’t admit it. I told her that its ok and it will be ok and it’s ok for her to be upset as I know it’s worse when you love someone who’s going through something. You want to help or do something more but you can’t. All you can do is be there.
It’s easier ( I think) for those going through the actual illness, we have the stuff actually happening and know what is going on. We can tell when we’re feeling ok or feeling crap. We can feel any pain or sensations. When we are having treatment or surgery etc we know what’s going on and if we’re waiting to go in etc etc.
I know when I’ve been waiting to hear on a loved one going through something you can drive yourself mad trying to imagine what’s going on and just waiting to hear something.
So to summarise that little section, I think cancer effects so many people, not just the actual person with cancer. So they need support to. I think it’s important to acknowledge this and support them too. 🙂
Big hugs 😀 xxx