I know I havent written on here for a while, mainly because I havent really had much to say, I have been in a lot better place than I was immediately after surgery, as I did feel pretty down in the dumps at that point.
Well the good news is that the results came through as all clear from my second surgery and no further cancer was found in my breasticle. 🙂 So that was a relief, for once my gut instinct was right! I had a feeling all would be ok this time, I had prepared myself slightly for the news that it wasnt all clear and had started to process the thought of losing the entire breast. I have to admit that this did scare me, so I didnt want to put too much thought into it, just in case it wasnt needed, which is what happened. But just for blogging info, I would have been happy to have a masectomy, what I couldnt get my head round was whether to go for reconstruction or not. Initially it hadnt even occured to me to have reconstruction, it wasnt until I mentioned it to my mum that she said she presumed that of course I would have a reconstruction. I replied saying I hadnt even thought of it, I was prepared to not have it and she was shocked to say the least.
It did make me giggle as she said something along the lines of “when you are of a certain shape and have larger lumps and bumps than some, the lack of a bump will make you look uneven” so in other words, as I have a more than ample bosom, only having one would be a little odd 🙂
I guess I had just presumed I would lose that shape and I would wear a prosthetic boob and carry on like that. This opened up another can of worms, my thought process was going along the lines that I would rather lose the lot and know it has all gone. I guess if the decision had gone that way I would have sought more advice and information and seen what my options were.
During my results appointment, I showed the Breast Care Nurse the swelling in the area where the lump had been removed as once again it felt like it had filled up and was feeling tight and I was noticing it when extending my arm as it felt restrictive. She said she would get the Consultant to check it out as she may decide to draw off some of the seroma. I also showed her the speckled bruising/rash that had appeared on the underside of my boob over the last few days. I remember thinking that post surgery bruising was a lot less this time, I only had one small bruise so wasnt sure why this bruising had appeared, it wasnt a typical bruise, it was almost speckled.
The consultant took a look and did an ultra sound on the lump area and agreed to remove some of the seroma fluid and said that the speckled bruise/rash was a bruise and it was due to everything settling down and actually pushing down slightly due to the tissue being removed from the top, she said I was wearing the right kind of bra, to keep the support constant and it would disappear.
I was told to lie down and she asked the nurse to get a 50ml syringe, ok I had no idea how big a 50ml syringe was….. OH BOY it looked huge when she came over with it… I thought she cant possibly fill that….. pah… she did! lol! I once again was fascinated watching the ultra sound screen as she drew off the liquid, I could see the big gap in my boob and it moving as the fluid was drawn off. Closing in really. The Consultant advised I may notice a dip from now on, as the fluid was packing it out, this didnt bother me really, I would rather have a dip than feeling tight and over stretched….. (hmmmmm that sounds rude ha ha!)
Once that was drawn off, I had a little plaster put on and could get dressed. The Consultant then advised that basically I would now be handed over to a different department, I would now come under the Oncology department rather than the Breast Care Clinic. I have to admit I felt a little strange hearing this, I have only seen this woman 4-5 times, but she has played such a massive role in my life in such a short time. Thanks to her and her team I am now cancer free!
I think I felt sadder knowing I might not see the nurse again, she is a lovely lady and has been so supportive and kind and I have enjoyed my appointments with her. She did say that no matter what, I can still call them, as that is what they are there for, just because I am now under the Oncology department, doesnt mean I cant speak to them anymore, so that was nice.
The nurse also told me that my hair would fall out, apparantly with Breast Cancer, the type of chemo they give you does mean it will fall out as a lot of people had told me, mine might not fall out. It still doesnt bother me, I am actually pretty curious about it, I wont shave my head when it starts happening, I will see how it goes, I want to leave it to fall out naturally as much as I can, but having said that, my clippers do call me to use them on occasions and its rude not to 🙂
I have not long had a phone call to say my first appointment with the Oncologist is this Weds. Luckily it is after work so that makes it a lot easier, as I do feel bad taking so much time off work.
I will write another post shortly on emotions as I wanted to keep this one a bit seperate 🙂