This is my space – thats yours

Last night I went to a music gig and was really looking forward to seeing the band “Missing Andy” whom my mates have been raving about for over a year as they saw them at a local festival last year and they are playing at the same festival this year that I am going to.

So I went to see them in a small music venue last night and was excited about seeing them and felt chilled and ready for it.  What I found though was that as soon as the band started playing and the crowd got more packed in and the drunk men started dad dancing around me, I suddenly felt really scared and protective over my left boob.  Its really tender at the moment and I knocked it with a plastic wallet file the other day and it killed so I really didn’t want someones elbow bashing into me so I adopted a strange stance with my arm covering my boob.  This meant I couldn’t relax or dance and at one point I just wanted to get out of there and I felt myself wanting to cry.

I felt totally conflicted as I was enjoying the music and the band were amazing but my head went off somewhere else for a bit.  I think my mate saw I was having a little freak out so moved me to a safer position and I did start to relax but by then my feet were killing me.

Since my treatment my feet get really sore and painful and last night was really painful, I found standing on the hard floor hard and haven’t stood for so long in a while so after a while my ankles felt like they had locked and I was getting shooting pains going up my legs.  So I was grateful it wasn’t a massive set list and was able to sit down at the end.

In all I had a fantastic night but it still surprises me how little things within me have changed, how protective I am of my boob and how much it freaked me out being around people dancing in close proximity.

I’m not going to let that stop me doing things at least I will be prepared for it next time 🙂

Check out the band Missing Andy: they are really good 🙂 xx


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