Well it’s been over a week now since my second surgery and its healing well, I took my plaster off on Tuesday and I didn’t even have to try soaking it off. I was a bit inquisitive and pulled at the corner and it lifted off really easily so I kept pulling and whoosh it was all off! It wasn’t as bad as the first time, I didn’t feel so queasy as the actual scars did pull a bit and it separated slightly but was held in place by the stitches. (don’t worry it settled back ok!)
This time round the surgery and after effects have been very different to the previous surgery, there is a lot less bruising and swelling so the physical side of things has been a lot easier but it’s been more emotional this time. I have felt a lot lower than before, more because it feels like I am waiting for things to happen, I feel like I cannot plan anything too far ahead because I just don’t know what stage of my treatment I will be at.
I was told after my surgery that there are various stages before I start my chemo, and it just feels like its a long old waiting game.
Luckily this week I have been lucky enough that I could take myself off to Di’s for a few days, she had to work during the day but having company in the evening is amazing and being around Di makes me smile, laugh and generally enjoy myself and feel at peace. I live on my own and although I feel happy living on my own (for now) I found last time I was signed off that I struggled being at home on my own so much. I am my own worst enemy to a certain extent as I am a right muddle monster and live in a muddle. This means that I tend to go visit people rather than tidy up my own muddles and have people come round, but now I know that I can’t do that. When I start chemo and feel rubbish I am not going to want to go see people so need to tidy up and KEEP IT TIDY.
This self confessed MUDDLE MONSTER needs to sort herself out as the thought of being stuck alone in my flat for days and days terrifies me.