Buoyancy aid

Well it’s been over a week now since my second surgery and its healing well, I took my plaster off on Tuesday and I didn’t even have to try soaking it off. I was a bit inquisitive and pulled at the corner and it lifted off really easily so I kept pulling and whoosh it was all off! It wasn’t as bad as the first time, I didn’t feel so queasy as the actual scars did pull a bit and it separated slightly but was held in place by the stitches. (don’t worry it settled back ok!)

This time round the surgery and after effects have been very different to the previous surgery, there is a lot less bruising and swelling so the physical side of things has been a lot easier but it’s been more emotional this time. I have felt a lot lower than before, more because it feels like I am waiting for things to happen, I feel like I cannot plan anything too far ahead because I just don’t know what stage of my treatment I will be at.

I was told after my surgery that there are various stages before I start my chemo, and it just feels like its a long old waiting game.

Luckily this week I have been lucky enough that I could take myself off to Di’s for a few days, she had to work during the day but having company in the evening is amazing and being around Di makes me smile, laugh and generally enjoy myself and feel at peace. I live on my own and although I feel happy living on my own (for now) I found last time I was signed off that I struggled being at home on my own so much. I am my own worst enemy to a certain extent as I am a right muddle monster and live in a muddle. This means that I tend to go visit people rather than tidy up my own muddles and have people come round, but now I know that I can’t do that. When I start chemo and feel rubbish I am not going to want to go see people so need to tidy up and KEEP IT TIDY.

This self confessed MUDDLE MONSTER needs to sort herself out as the thought of being stuck alone in my flat for days and days terrifies me.

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You know when you get a balloon in your hands and the overwhelming urge to dig your nails in and pop it just washes over you…… no???Β  You dont…. ok its just me then πŸ™‚Β Β  Well if you can imagine a water bomb balloon thats filled to the brim ready to burst, well thats a bit like what my boob feels like right now.Β  Ok I know its not going to burst but the swelling is there and the hole where the lump was has filled with SeromaΒ and it feels like it has caused the rest of the breast to swell as well.Β  The Surgeon saw it on Friday just gone and said that they would drain it all when I have the op on Thursday and I shall be very relieved to have that gone, as it is making my boob very tender and hyper sensitive.

I found I was very wary about being knocked when I was out on Friday night, I had a bit of a boogie and it wasnt very comfortable.Β  I didnt like the sensation so wedged my arm into my boob which helped and just tamed my dancing down to a mere sway lol.Β Β  So thats the end of my breakdancing for a while!

 

Breakdancing

Breakdancing

I brought some of those Belivia Bras from JML the other day and they are a godsend, they are very comfortable but also give great support, as I found normal bras rubbed on my scar where the lymph nodes were taken out.Β  Ok they dont look very sexy but do I care… pffft nope!Β  Comfort all the way right now πŸ™‚

Well thats my little offload for now, I just want to get to Thursday and get the Op over and done with!

Ta-Ra for now chooks! xx

 

Three weeks on

Well it’s three weeks since my surgery and I get my results today. I’m glad it’s finally here as the waiting is the worst bit of this whole process.

Ok I haven’t put any photos of the operation scars so far and I think it’s important that I do as I was looking the other night for images of lumpectomy scars to see if mine looked ok and thank god they did πŸ™‚

So here goes, I’ve tried to show as little of me as I can as I don’t want you losing your breakfast/lunch or tea πŸ™‚

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This is the lumpectomy scar, my boob is still a little bruised but I think that’s more from this week and stupidly wearing an ill fitting bra on Monday. I don’t know for sure if it was this as I can’t remember if there was much bruising before. I know I still had bruising around the nipple so god knows. Lol

The area where the lump was is a little swollen and I can tell is full of fluid. Seroma I think it’s called…. May need to edit this later to get my facts straight πŸ˜„

Generally my boob is feeling tender and swollen this week, more so than before so glad I’m seeing the consultant today so she can check it.

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This is the scar in my armpit. This scar healed really well and very quickly but it’s this area that’s caused the most discomfort. I wouldn’t say pain, it’s more discomfort. Whether its because you use that area more movement wise and it is in the crease of your arm which doesn’t help.

The wierdest sensation is still the numb armpit and bingo wings lol. I still have the pins and needles sensation going on. I’ll find out how long that goes on for.

Hmmm an hour till my results… Ok nerves are kicking in now.

I’ll write later with details on my results! Laters xx

My first day without a NaNa Nap

I am proud to announce that yesterday was my first day without a “NaNa Nap” πŸ™‚ For those of you who do not know what a NaNa Nap it is, do you remember going to stay with your grandparents or old relatives and at various points during the day they would randomly fall asleep for short periods of time. Well that’s what I call a NaNa Nap and since my surgery I was having numerous nana naps throughout the day. I’d be feeling fine then it felt like someone had pulled the power cable out.

I had cut it down to one nana nap a day but yesterday I managed a whole day and a bloody long one at that. Ok I had the incentive of a day of Return To The Forbidden Planet which gives me a real buzz and natural high anyway.

I was a little worried about the 2.5hr journey but it was an easy journey and I felt fine. The show (well both performances) were amazing, I was sat right at the front so got the full blast of sound and vision and I loved it. Every cast member put 1000% into the show and I clapped, cheered, whooped, whistled throughout the show. (Luckily I was sat next to fellow Planet fans so they didn’t mind)

After the shows I caught up with my Planet Family πŸ™‚ These are my planet friends that I’ve met over the years and they can be fellow fans, current or past cast members. The planet cast members that I have got to know over the years are one of the best, friendliest, down to earth lovely people you could possibly meet. I have the utmost respect for them and because most of them love the show as much as I do they love being in the show as much as I love watching it.

You may wonder what this has to do with my recovery etc but having a goal to set yourself is a massive healer. My goal was to see Planet as often as I could during its run at Hornchurch. I won 3-1 so am happy with that I only lost one performance as I had a migraine the day after being told I had Breast Cancer but nothing stopped me seeing the other performances and I’m thrilled about that.

Planet means a lot to me and its helped me twice now through difficult times, so it had better come on again soon πŸ™‚

Big love to JM and PT and FR for yesterday xxx

Plasters off

I had been told that 5 days after surgery I could remove my clear plaster/dressings and I couldn’t wait, the one in my armpit was getting a little sore as the blood that had pooled in there had dried and was chafing a bit.

Initially I had decided to wait until Weds evening to have a bath and soak it off but as per usual I am impatient so did it Weds morning. It felt lovely lying in the bath and before long I was pulling at the plasters easing the edges up. I was amazed how strong they were, not like plasters at all. So I took my time, easing a bit at a time.

Eventually I got the one in my arm pit off and took a lot of time washing the blood away gently and finally I could see the actual scar for the first time and I was impressed how neat it was, it was a little longer than I’d expected as I thought it would be a couple of centimetres but it’s more like an inch… I think?

I then turned my attention to the plaster on my boob, this was harder to get off and took some time. Eventually I got it all off apart from the centre that was directly above the scar. So I let it soak and took my time then started. I have to admit I started feeling queasy at this point as the sensation across the scar was odd. Plus it did open in a few places, more so where the edges hadn’t sealed together as well above the stitches but finally I got it off. I just led there for a bit as I felt light headed.

After a while I started to clean around the scar and try to remove the sticky residue from the plaster. This stuff is not easy to remove as I’m hardly going to scrub hard!

After a while I got out the bath and the sensations in both scars was weird, this was when it hit home how protected they had been under the plaster and now it was up to me to look after them.

It sounds daft but this rattled me a bit, it’s amazing how protected they are with the plasters, it stops the skin pulling, keeps the right shape and nothing can get onto/into it. I felt a bit vulnerable then.

I put a normal plaster over the scar in my armpit as I knew that my bra could rub that area but left the other scar uncovered.

I took lily for a walk for her morning business and my boob felt more sensitive and it was really distracting.

Throughout the day I was a lot more aware of my boob and I felt drained both emotionally and physically.

I am sleeping a lot at the moment and tire very easily, I don’t like feeling like this to be honest as I feel weak and I don’t like that feeling.

Sensations after surgery

It’s been a couple of days after my surgery now and I wanted to write about the various sensations or lack of sensations that I am going through. I was told after surgery that my armpit and upper arm (underside) would be numb and would feel like you’d been to the dentist when you can feel it but at the same time, you can’t and that is a very good way to describe the feeling in my armpit and arm right now.

Initially after the blue dye, some parts of my body did stain blue, around my nipple, some of my tummy and I didn’t see anywhere else, but as my body reacted to it and I found my first allergy lol, I knew it travelled around my body as my feet were swollen and purplish, my hands and arms were raised and blotchy and my eyelids had a blue tinge to them, both mum and a nurse said it looked like I had blue eye shadow on πŸ™‚

After two days most of the dye had disappeared and yes your wee does go blue, I didn’t have blue number twos that I was told could happen πŸ˜‰

One side affect that is very strange and slightly unnerving is the build up of seroma, this is a natural process of bodily fluid that builds up in the area of surgery, either where the lump was removed or the lymph nodes removed. I first noticed this on Sunday, as I started to go up the stairs I could hear a swishing/swooshing noise, like a bottle of water sloshing around. It confused the hell out of me to start with and then I realised it was my boob! I can assure you this feels very strange but is quite normal apparently. Having read about this, the body will naturally absorb most of this over the next month onwards, but some people do get a build up and a pressure point so need it to be drained but I haven’t noticed anything like that yet.

I have noticed today that some parts of my armpit and side of boob are tingling and sometimes I get a pricking sensation in my boob, I am guessing this is all part of the healing process and it’s coming back to life. Sometimes it is like an injection so. It nice but the majority of it is just a strange tingling sensation.

All in all I feel ok, I think I feel more tired today than anything else, so am taking it easy but it feels strange trying to rest, I want to be doing things, so blogging helps πŸ™‚ xx